threecheersforsuccess

This page summarizes the ups and downs of my time as an American premed student. I wanted to consolidate main themes and reflections for personal use, specifically for my second try at the medical school application. If this interests you, I hope the information proves to be helpful. You can leave questions in my guestbook.

Why medicine?

My interest in human biology began during my countless public library trips as a kid. Before my Internet use, I found myself reading through so many nonfiction books, replicating diagrams, and putting that information in my journal entries. One standout book- "The Manga Guide to Molecular Biology"- stood out to me the most for how they embedded a narrative about life and mortality within informational text about biomolecules and the central dogma. That book changed my life. Later, I developed an interest in the science behind habit-building, the growth mindset, and what drives behavior, spurred mainly by the studyblr community. In high school, I took a class on the neuroscience of addiction that also opened me up to the wonders of pharmacology! At the same time, I got involved in health education reform projects. I continued the same work in college.

I thought about medical school early on in my college career, but I felt unsure. Becuase of outside influence, I thought about doing tech instead. Contrary to popular stereotypes, my Asian family did not want me to be a doctor. They saw multiple success stories with my upperclassmen working in FAANG and buying homes (in this economy!), so I understand theri judgement. Healthcare, long and arduous in education, takes great sacrifice, wit, and passion. Whenever I did "bad" on what I liked in school, namely biology, I recieved shame. They questioned my abilities in biology and chemistry opposed to that of math, something I always did well in. The point? "Stay away from healthcare!"

Thanks to anxiety and shame, setbacks in my interests often felt ten times worse than usual. As a result, instead of asking about what I wanted for my future, I tried to please everyone around me. Plus, I thought that if I followed what others told me, I could expedite social and financial mobility like those I knew who worked in FAANG. Thankfully, my work in health education and later, mental health called me out and rescued me from working against myself. I am thankful to find a culturally-competent therapist who helped me navigate intergenerational trauma, anxiety, and imposter syndrome. I remember conessing in a session that I really did not want to pursue a career on the basis of money, and I wanted to lean toward healthcare. However, I felt to scared and unsure. Hearing so, she responded, "Who knows? It's fine not to know the answers. Dip your feet in it. Ask yourself if this is truly for you."

In other words, I needed to immerse myself and defy all opposition. Despite a rough sophomore year, I landed a summer research internship working with chronic pain patients. I noticed how much housing, transportation, distance, meal prep, education, and social connections made a huge difference in accessibility of healthcare. Social determinants dictate the well-being of everyone! As a middle-class urbanite who never experienced chronic pain episodes, the work humbled me fast. Inspired by my therapist, I also pursued activities where I taught cultural-competence as part of my health education advocacy. I do not want to give too much information on what I did, but those leadership roles helped to solidify the resolve of helping underserved identities in need. Despite rampant mental health stigma in my culture, I majored in psychology, the major I am most fond of.

That's cool and all, but girl, what about your clinical hours? Hospitals barred me from volunteering during the pandemic lockdown, but thankfully, I productively used my time for research and nonclinical work! No time wasted. Leaving the lockdown, I shadowed anesthesiologists through my pain medicine connections. I saw multiple surgeries and practices at once with the perioperative anesthesiologist, which I am grateful for. As for the chronic pain specialist, I saw the doctor lead a team of professionals to determine treatment plans for those with psychiatric co-morbidities! I felt so ecstatic from those eye-opening experiences. After shadowing, I finally started my volunteering stint with cancer patients in my postbac year. I got more out of the work than I thought, such as handling difficult conversations on end-of-life and finding meaning within stagnation. The resilience toward adversity of those patients inspire me day-to-day.

In the meantime, I continued volunteering with populations in my local community, promoting academics, technology literacy, and the pursuit of creativity. These experiences, combined with the activities from my postbac cohort, taught me the importance of community in creating real change. One person cannot do everything. You need to engage everyone involved!

Now, I know what I want. I desire extensive medical training to get better at holistic care- not just the mind and behavior, not just social factors, not just biology, but all of it together. Moreover, cultural humility and compassionate care made a difference with my mental health, so I plan on implementing that into my support of BIPOC patients. Beyond individual patient care, I wish to do outreach in public schools. I want to inspire the next generation of healthcare professionals by creating volunteer opportunities for premed and healthcare students, namely for creating and teaching health lessons in their local schools. In the meantime, I wish to develop a screening model for adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) to help families better understand and address their kid's challenges early on. Long story short- you know, I wish do everything I wish I had growing up!